The text below is from the Avant-garde magazine from Les 3 sex* published in print format in April 2019, and then digitally in May 2019. For more information on the magazine, or to get a copy, click here.

☛ Ce texte est aussi disponible en français [➦].

Translated by Gabrielle Baillargeon-Michaud. 

Recognition! Champagne! Showbiz!

Writing a sexology column might seem very easy and glamorous; after all, one just needs a platform. “Give us a microphone and we will simplify any concept in an oh-so-natural way.” “Ask us to write for a magazine and we will write poetically like a Carrie Bradshaw who can’t help but wonder.”

If only.

If only it were that simple.

Let’s set the record straight.

Working in the media as a sexologist requires a lot of creativity and a strong ability to adapt. It’s intellectually stimulating and socially esteemed, yet it is neither easy nor glamorous.

Let’s dig into it. 

And start with some examples.

Imagine a television show where celebrities chat about a theme over coffee with a professional. Who’s likely to dominate the conversation? The celebrity with their personal stories or the professional with their fact-based insights?

The bets are open!

Another potential hurdle is that, whether spoken or written, content can be clumsily or dishonestly edited by an editing or production team. This can lead to great collaborations where you learn to tailor your message to an audience without compromising your principles (great), but it can also result in disappointing stories where edits sensationalize and distort the content (ouch).

The lesson?

Despite our careful efforts and best intentions, working with the media presents many challenges and seldom allows full control over the final product. 

This brings me to a crucial question:

As sexologists, what is our view on the representation of our profession in the media? Does it reinforce our sense of identification with the field of sexology? Are we critical? Lenient? Proud? Not proud?

Being quick on one’s feet

I confess, there was a time when I too suffered from the “I could have done better!” syndrome. Unaware of all the variables influencing the delivery of content in the public domain, I strutted around like a little Kanye West, thinking I could certainly do better than my colleagues. However, once you leave the spectator’s stand, you quickly realize that participating in the media as a professional is akin to a figure skating performance: it takes place on a somewhat slippery surface, the audience must see the grace and naturalness in the execution without the intensive training and preparation showing through, and yes, you can fall. You must get up and continue, persisting with diligence.

When acting as a sexologist in the media, we represent not just ourselves but our profession. There’s a lot of responsibility that comes with this privilege. When presenting current, well-supported content, we can afford more flexibility in how we deliver it.

And then, the fun really starts.

Personally, I choose a writing style that is closer to spoken language, use humour as a means of reflection, and embrace my multiple references to pop culture. Everything is calculated, balanced, and nothing is left to chance. It takes a lot of work.

Knowing how to score

This essential rigour is also reflected in how we handle the themes we choose to discuss and those we decide not to.

“We would like your opinion on the scandal involving priests accused of sexual assault in Illinois, please! In 30 minutes.”

“Could you talk about the sexual education content produced by the Department of Education?”

“We would like to know more about the impacts of PrEP!”

In the media, there is a tendency to assume that a sexologist is the expert of all aspects of sexuality. That is simply not true. Demonstrating professionalism means knowing when to say no, recognizing our limits with humility, referring to, or consulting with expert advisors who can guide our efforts. It is crucial to have a robust network and know when to pass the puck to colleagues who specialize in certain topics to score goals together.

This approach also creates space to allow a multitude of voices to emerge. As sexologists, we do not necessarily converge towards a standardized professional identity; it seems more than desirable, in a modern context, to offer alternative models to the traditional “suit — private practice” norm associated with our field. Although there is nothing wrong with fitting this image, a stronger media presence shows that there is more than one correct way to be a sexologist. And that’s overwhelmingly positive!

We can stand out by being creative in our writing, engaging in stimulating research, and drawing inspiration from all the incredible people we meet from various walks of life.

Connecting with a multitude of individuals in the hope of ultimately helping them to love better and love themselves more fully in all their complexity and diversity: isn’t that a beautiful professional mission? Bring out the spotlights, it certainly deserves some light!