☛ Cette critique est aussi disponible en français [➦].
Translated by Gabrielle Baillargeon Michaud.
Twenty years after escaping from Steve, her violent partner at the time, filmmaker Attiya Khan decides to reconnect with her abuser to begin a process of healing and repair. The documentary A Better Man (2017) tackles the issue of domestic violence and what happens when men take responsibility for their problematic behavior.
In their initial encounter, Attiya asks Steve about his memories and the impact the violence had on his life: "I wanted to know if the memories of the violence stayed with you. If you felt as damaged as I did." (8m10s). She quickly realizes a significant disparity between her experiences and his. Steve has almost no recollection; he cannot recall the initial abuse, the reasons behind it, or its triggers. Meanwhile, Attiya has endured years of nightmares, flashbacks, and pervasive fear.
The documentary then follows the therapeutic journey of Steve and Attiya with a psychologist. The filmmaker discusses the positive outcomes in an interview: "He listens to me. He starts to remember. He never blames me for his violence. He does not minimize it." Additionally, the film explores the causes and mechanisms of domestic violence, focusing on prevention. For Steve, violence arises from an inability to handle his emotions effectively: "It's an incapacity to deal with your own feelings in a productive way. It's just explosive and always affects the one closest to you" (35m). Thus, the title A Better Man reflects Steve's transformation and invites other men to examine their ability to manage their emotions and behavior.
The documentary immerses viewers in the intimate life of Attiya Khan. We see her supporting women and children affected by domestic violence in her role as a lawyer. We meet her partner, who is actively involved in the White Ribbon campaign, a movement of men and boys striving to end gender-based violence. Additionally, the documentary captures Attiya's engagement in sports, acupuncture treatments, and meditative practices through scenes imbued with tranquility. Despite the twenty years since the events, these enlightening scenes reveal that the trauma remains deeply ingrained in her body.
Lastly, A Better Man is paired with a website and an interactive platform that offer resources to foster discussions on gender-based violence and to organize men's discussion circles. An exemplary piece of engaged documentary filmmaking, it serves as a poignant, challenging, and empathetic narrative and a valuable tool for prevention to be watched, shared, and utilized. I am eagerly looking forward to Attiya Khan's forthcoming documentary, Weathering, which will explore the impact of racism on pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum depression.
Reference
Director/Creator: Attiya Khan and Lawrence Jackman
Title: A Better Man
Release date: 2017This documentary is available on ONF.