Cette enquête est aussi disponible en français [➦].
Translated by Florence Bois-Villeneuve.
In answer to the question “Can a child can have more than two legally recognized parents?”, the Quebec government’s answer is a resounding “no.” However, multiparentality is recognized in other Canadian provinces, such as Ontario, British Columbia and Saskatchewan.
“A family unit very clearly has only two parents,” says Minister Simon Jolin-Barrette. For the CAQ, adding a third or a fourth parent on a child’s birth certificate is out of the question.
In other words, even when three (or more) adults decide to start a family and raise a child together in Quebec, only two of the parents can have parental authority.
A contested reform
While many were hoping that multiparentality would be included in the bill to reform family law, tabled in fall 2021, it was conspicuous by its absence. Isabel Côté, professor at UQO and Canada Research Chair in Third-Party Reproduction and Family Ties, was extremely disappointed about this exclusion: “The reform could have been the perfect opportunity to include multiparent families.”
However, there was still a glimmer of hope for people wanting to start a multiparent family and their allies. With the added family law reforms brought about by this year’s Bill 12, one might have thought multiparentality would be included, along with the surrogacy issue. Not the case.
Martine Biron, Minister responsible for LGBTQ+ files, had given the impression that her party had not completely closed the door on the issue. She said she was considering the matter and was “open to different formulas.” However, her press agent was quick to rectify her statement: “She meant she was open to different files. The door is definitely closed on multiparentality.” In other words, Minister Biron had no intention of deviating from the party line¹.
Family law
According to Mona Greenbaum, director of the LGBT+ Family Coalition, Quebec lags behind on this issue. “And yet, the province was ahead of the pack when it came to same-gender parenting. In 2002, it became one of the first places in the world to grant legal recognition to same-gender parents.” As she said in an interview with Les 3 sex*, it’s surprising that multiparentality is still not legally recognized here. After all, it has been legal in British Columbia for a decade now.
This disappointment is shared by lawyer and law professor Michaël Lessard, who supports greater legal recognition for family diversity, as expressed in an opinion piece he wrote for La Presse on the issue.
“The name itself—FAMILY law—proves that the law only considers one type of family, meaning the traditional two-parent family. We should be speaking in the plural, about FAMILIES,” he explained to Les 3 sex*.
In his opinion, filiation, or the family relationship between a child and the child’s parents, should reflect the important social ties between the child and the significant adults in their life.
However, Minister Jolin-Barrette found unwavering support from the late Denise Bombardier. In an opinion piece published in the Journal de Montréal, Bombardier congratulated Jolin-Barrette on his “courage” for “standing up to the LGBTQ+ lobby” by refusing to allow three or more parents to form a family.
Putting children first
No offense to the Simon Jolin-Barrettes and Denise Bombardiers of this world, but multiparent families already exist, at least from a social standpoint. In fact, there are already families in Quebec where a child has three or four parents. For example, two female partners and a male friend who decided to have a child together. Or a “throuple” (a romantic relationship between three people) who all parent a child together. Or three friends (regardless of their gender) who chose to become parents together. Mona Greenbaum confirmed that some members of the LGBT+ Family Coalition belong to multiparent families. Some are three-parent families while others consist of a couple who co-parent with a friend.
The problem is that these families are not legally recognized. This means that parents in a multiparent family do not have the same rights as those in a two-parent family, nor the same obligations.
As Isabel Côté explained in an interview with Les 3 sex*, this “non-recognition makes children more vulnerable and fragile.”
Why is this non-recognition bad for children? Firstly, because in the event of a separation, the parent with no filiation has no legal rights. Imagine a child who has been raised by three parents from birth to age 12, and who has formed attachment bonds to all three parental figures. Then imagine the throuple splits up. Imagine a bitter separation where the two legally recognized parents forbid the other parent from ever seeing the child again. Then imagine that there are no laws in place to protect the child, who has just lost a parent.
“The third parent could technically obtain visitation and custody rights, for example, like grandparents can do. But judges usually refuse to grant custody to a third party,” said Michaël Lessard in an interview with Les 3 sex*.
Secondly, a parent who is not legally recognized cannot make medical decisions. Now, imagine a child has fallen in the playground and broken their wrist. Immediately after the accident, the school tries to call the parents, but the only one they can reach is the parent who is not legally recognized. That person would not have the right to make a medical decision about their child. Only parents whose filiation is recognized can make such decisions.
Finally, the lack of protection afforded by this non-recognition can have negative consequences on children in multiparent families. For example, if the non-recognized parent wants to walk away from their child, the law cannot force that parent to fulfill their parental obligations or pay child support.
Worse still, if both legally recognized parents were to die suddenly, the third parent could not file for custody of the child (unless they had been previously appointed as the child’s tutor in the event of the legally recognized parents’ death).
During an interview with Les 3 sex*, a polyamorous couple imagined the following scenario. “If we died, our parents would get custody of our child. Since we are both immigrants, that would mean our child would have to move to France, where he would be raised by his grandparents, who barely know him. He would be much better off staying here in Quebec, a familiar place, with our partner. That person, our partner, is a significant adult in our child’s life,” said Mr. Doe, one of the child’s parents.²
Is two really better?
In her book Faire famille autrement, sociologist Gabrielle Richard takes a critical look at the two-parent, heteronormative family model:
“According to contemporary, Western-centric representations, a family is made up of a couple composed of a cisgender man and a cisgender woman, who are in love, monogamous and ideally married, who cohabitate and who have one or more biological children.”
Based on interviews with queer parents, the author demonstrates that a family can have different configurations, and that alternative models exist. However, Minister Jolin-Barrette’s refusal to consider multiparentality is based on the belief that the two-parent family is the only family type conducive to a child’s healthy development.
Professor and researcher Isabel Côté, who specializes in family diversity issues, challenges this view: “Studies show that family structure is not a predictor of well-being in children.” In other words, whether a family is single-parent, two-parent, same-gender, or multiparent is not a determining factor in a child’s well-being. Secure attachment bonds and access to resources are far more important to development than the family model itself. Mona Greenbaum sums up this idea well: “It may sound cheesy, but it’s true: Love is the most important thing for a child. If a child feels loved, they will be fine, whether they have one, two, three or four parents.”
According to Isabel Côté, “every study out there on family diversity shows that it has no negative impact on children.” In her opinion, the absence of a parent-child relationship is more problematic.
While there are currently no scientific studies on multiparent families, some information can be gleaned from studies on non-traditional families such as those made up of same-gender parents.
For example, one study shows that the “social” mother in a lesbian couple—the mother who did not carry the child—suffers from a lack of legal recognition in some contexts (Chbat and Côté, 2022). In this study, the mothers interviewed in France or Switzerland, where the social mother has no parental authority, said that the lack of legal recognition could lead to devaluation of their role of mother in the eyes of society. In some cases, it can also create a power dynamic within the couple, in particular in the event of a separation. In fact, some social mothers reported being forbidden from seeing their child by their ex-partner after a breakup. The lack of legal recognition for their parental status prevented them from taking legal action to retain custody of their child. As Isabel Côté points out, this same situation could happen in a breakup of a multiparent family.
It takes a village...
The model of the nuclear family is so omnipresent, you’d think it had always existed. However, as sociologist Gabrielle Richard points out, history is replete with alternative family configurations. For example, in many Indigenous communities, the adults in an extended family often all played a parental role.
The expression “It takes a village to raise a child” encapsulates the benefits of a child being surrounded by several significant adults, who all bring different strengths to the table to help the child develop to their full potential.
In that sense, multiparentality could have certain advantages for a child. One throuple, who agreed to talk to Les 3 sex*, share this opinion. Éric LeBlanc, Jonathan Bédard and Justin Maheu, who are hoping for a mixed-bank adoption, believe that their family configuration will be beneficial for everyone: “The advantage is, there will be three times more of everything: resources, time and expertise. We’ll have more support, too. For example, the child will have three sets of grandparents to take care of them.” Each parent can also be a different model: “All three of us have different abilities. It will be good for the child to have one parent who is good at organizing, one who is good at teaching, and another who is passionate about art.”
As the throuple points out, multiparentality can also mean having more money thanks to having three working parents in the family. At a time when inflation is causing many families to tighten their belts, an extra income would clearly go a long way.
In addition to benefiting the child, the multiparent model could also be positive for the parents. Milaine Alarie, associate professor at the Institut national de la recherche scientifique (INRS), looked at parents who are in polyamorous or open relationships (2019). Her study revealed that the parents found it helpful to have more than one partner to help take care of the children and the household chores. According to the author, given the benefits for the family, “it’s worth wondering whether family law needs to widen its scope beyond the current two-parent model.”
In defense of family diversity
Is the non-recognition of multiparentality considered discrimination? Yes, it is, according to LeBlanc, Bédard and Maheu, the throuple interviewed for this article: “There are so many public issues that are debated, that are studied by commissions, like medical assistance in dying, for example. But that’s not the case with multiparentality, which isn’t even included in the family law reforms. Not being recognized is discrimination.”
Mona Greenbaum, director of the LGBT+ Family Coalition, agrees with this statement. “It’s discrimination for the ‘plural’ parents who are not being recognized—and for their children, too. Every child has the right to have parents. These children need legal protection.”
Talking to the media is a common strategy employed by advocates of multiparentality. This was the approach taken by François Bibeau, executive director of the Association professionnelle des notaires du Québec, when he published an opinion piece in Le Soleil. He believes that listing three parents on a child’s birth certificate should be allowed.
Bibeau points out that Quebec is bound by the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, which stipulates that “the best interests of the child shall be a primary consideration.”
Others turn directly to the courts to exercise their right to multiparentality. For example, the LGBT+ Family Coalition is spearheading a legal battle on behalf of two other plaintiffs: two couples, one homosexual and one heterosexual, who want to start a family with a female friend. This case, scheduled to be heard in June 2024, could eventually lead to the courts recognizing multiparent families.
Moreover, a throuple is in court fighting for recognition as a multiparent family, based on the argument that non-recognition of their status violates the Charter of Human Rights and Freedoms. Lawyer Michaël Lessard explained to Les 3 sex* that this throuple is arguing that non-traditional family configurations are discriminated against because they are denied full legal recognition. For example, the throuple wants certain articles in the Civil Code of Québec, namely those stating that filiation be reserved to a maximum of two people—to be declared unconstitutional.
According to Mona Greenbaum, these fights are necessary: “Multiparent families are part of the diverse landscape of families that make up Quebec. These families exist and, for the children’s sake, our laws must reflect this reality.”
Most of the people interviewed for this article are hopeful that the current battles will be successful. In their opinion, it’s only a matter of time before multiparentality becomes legal in Quebec.
*
Which is which?
Multiparentality is an umbrella term for families where a child has more than two parents. For the time being, the term “social multiparentality” is used in Quebec, because multiparentality is not yet legally recognized.
Some multiparent families also have parents who are polyamorous. For example, a throuple may decide to start a family together.
And yet other multiparent families are formed by parents who are linked by friendship. For example, a couple may decide to have a child with a friend, who will also participate in raising the child.
*
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¹Les 3 sex* requested an interview with Minister Martine Biron on the subject, but she did not respond.
² The interviewee wishes to remain anonymous.
To cite this article:
Paré-Roy, E. (2023, June 26). The fight for multiparentality is not over. Les 3 sex*.https://les3sex.com/fr/news/2630/enquete-la-lutte-pour-la-pluriparente-n-est-pas-terminee-
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