Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist [➦]
• General population
Heather Corinna and CJ Turett.
Release date and last update
June 2019 (Updated in July 2019)
Clear, truthful and open communication is a must with partnered sex. It's the best way to assure everyone is fully and freely consenting as well as physically and emotionally safe; to help sex and sexual relationships be as satisfying, positive and awesome as they can be. We can't just know or guess what we or others want or need, like or dislike, are or are not okay with: we need to communicate those things and have them communicated to us.
Starting deep and honest communication about sex can be daunting, especially in areas which can be more loaded, tricky or where we feel vulnerable. Someone might ask what you do or don't like, or what may or may not be okay with you, and you may find you -- or a partner, when they're asked -- have a hard time knowing how to respond. It might be particularly tough to start these conversations if talking about sex openly and out loud is something you've never done. When sex is newer to us, we may not even have a sense of all there is to talk about. It can feel like being asked what you want to eat at a restaurant without having a menu to even know your options. We might also sometimes find ourselves feeling inclined to only say what we think a partner wants to hear, or only responding to what they bring up rather than putting our own stuff on the table and initiating our own questions.
Yes, No and Maybe lists aren't something we invented. They've been used for a long time by sexuality educators, sex therapists, communities, couples and individuals, and they can be seriously useful tools. So, we've made one specifically for Scarleteen readers including all the issues you ask us about and we've talked about together over the years.
Corinna, Heather and Turret, CJ. (2010). Yes, NO, Maybe : A sexual inventory stocklist. Scrarleteen. Retrieved from https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/yes_no_maybe_so_a_sexual_inventory_stocklist